This last year has been such an amazing and life-changing period of my life.
One of the biggest things is my weight loss. I lost 55 pounds to this day. ALL by myself. No pills. no secrets. no easy way out. i exercised and changed my horrible eating habits and it payed off. the best part about that? I did it for ME. I didn’t do it so that other people would find me attractive. I did it so that i could be healthier and feel better.
The thing that i’ve really grasped in the last year is that God is always with me. It may not seem like it at times, especially when life gets rough, but He is always there. He isn’t going to just give me what i want. He is there to guide me and to make sure that i keep finding myself and to make sure that i am pushing myself to be all that i can be. God can only do so much for me. i have to be willing to accept it and run with it. to do something with the love He gives.
I have gotten over my depression. I used to hate everything. i would be sad and mad all the time over…well…nothing. I would let myself go. i would hate myself. i didn’t like anything about myself and i didn’t understand that other people could like me. I was literally alone. well maybe not literally, but it felt like i was. and i know that isn’t the case. if i allow people in, then i can finally feel the love that they all give me. i just have to be open and realize that yes, sometimes bad things happen, and not everyone will like you and not everything will go your way, but if you let them, good things will happen too, and that is what makes everything worth while.
I have met some amazing people that i KNOW i will be friends with forever. Those friends that i can just tell anything to and they will be there for me. to laugh with me, cry with me, and just be crazy with me. I love them all so very much.
I had my first real relationship and that taught me so much about myself. I had always been in the high school mindset that i needed to be in one to be happy, which is SO not the case. I realized that in order for a relationship to be successful, i have to be happy with being alone first. and I can honestly say that I am. It may have taken me some time to realize all that, but i am so glad that i finally have. I am ready to meet someone else who is happy and we can just share the happiness and take on the world together.
In closing thoughts, i realize that i am a truly blessed human being and that i couldn’t be more please with where i am in my life. All the things that i let get me down are so…petty. i just always let the little things get to me and turn a good mood into a bad one. but recently, i have realized that it’s much easier to be happy. being sad and mad and depressed just sucks away everything. it leaves me empty when i could have let the happiness fill me up. I’m happy to say that i am filled with so much happiness it’s unreal.
SO much can happen in one year and this proves that. at least for me.
I went on a run today and a song came up on shuffle from my ipod.
"Keep Your Head Up" - Andy Grammar
Just keep your head up and you’ll see that you are going to turn out just fine and you’ll be ok :)
To those of you who took the time to read this, thanks, and i hope you realize that if your in a bad spot, or having a rough time, you will be fine. and most importantly, i am here to talk. that’s what messaging is for! :)
With much love to each and every one of you, this is me ending my life update :)