sometimes...LIFE SUCKS (my personal rant about something deeper than a schoolgirl crush)
so here’s the thing….you know when you have that REALLY big crush on someone that you know will NEVER feel the same way? you want to spend EVRY SINGLE MINUTE with them just to be around them. Then you get to a spot where for some damned reason you will maybe never see them again. you start to get over them and forget about them and one day a friend says something, you see something, or something else happens where all the memories come flooding back. all the feelings return and you just can’t take it. THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME. i thought that i would be able to forget about it. then i saw the red van. the car that this person happened to drive. one little thing like the STUPID FUCKING CAR that someone drives. it makes you relaize that the feelings never left and that you don’t know what you will do. then you go sit on tumblr and rant about how crappy it is to feel this way. and after you post the paragraph long post you will go to your freezer, get ice cream, grab a sad romance movie like a walk to remember or dear john and then go SIT ON THE COUCH AND CRY. i hate having this feeling. i hate how one person you met during one summer can have such an impact on me. i don’t know what to do now exceot for follow the status quo and get my ice cream.
sorry about this folks, but sometimes LOVE SUCKS.
and to all of you who are in same situation, i’m sorry and i hope that we can get through it together.
to all the people that have found that one person who loves you as much as you love them, i am happy for you and i know that i will someday find that person too. it is just at this point i don’t think it will ever happen.
and to all the people who are reading this and thinking WTF? cry me a river, i say to you. leave me alone. even though you don’t want to admit it you have felt the same way.
and lastly to the one that this whole rant is about. i hope that sometimes you think of me too. maybe not in the same way, but just knowing that i cross your mind makes me smile a little bigger. i like you more than you may ever know. i fear to call it love becuase i don’t want to get too attached. but i will always remember you. and you will always be the first person i have felt this about.
thanks to all who read and i end this with spoon in one hand and a bucket of ice cream in the other. thanks for taking the time to worry about one mans problems.
You studied with Hermione. You stumbled with Ron. You hid creatures with Hagrid. You laughed with Fred and George. You fought with Voldemort. You forgot with Neville. You got caught with the DA. You rebelled against Umbridge and Snape. You cheered on Gryffindor. You kept up the rivalry with Draco Malfoy and the Slytherins. You worked with Dumbledore. You stuck with Harry til the end. Now it's nearly over, and now all you can do is remember, and thank J.K. Rowling for the time of your life.